Who ever thought, the day I met you in gym area of dance club.. You would be the one that hurt me the most...

30

I told myself that i am okay..
I am okay..
But..
Memories that i dread so much just comes back..

The memory of your reaching back and hugging me while i stood back to back with you when withdrew money just flashed into my mind today when i went out with kayson..

When you told me you werent feeling well and that you wished i was with you..

When we played with each other's hands in the crowded lift..

When you told me you loved me and miss me..

I dread that i cant maintain a thinking prospective.. Kayson gave me a pep talk that really made me feel okay and happy again.. But now it seems that im just drifting back to depression slowly.. Stupid as i am, i miss you again..

Toke a nap today because i felt sick.. Woke up with a splitting headache that is still pounding my head.. Found out that the plant that i has been taking care of just went missing which just makes me.. hate today..

I really want to be happy again..
I really want to..

30

GAH!!! MY HEART FEELS DEAD!!!!
IM CRYING AND DYING INSIDE!!

Its just one guy.. how the hell does he hold my heart so tightly??

28

Ish.. I need time to gather myself..
I'm failing apart in the most pathetic matter..
Its depressing to see what im becoming or rather what i've become in the past month..

I dont like it here..
Its awfully quite and lonely..

I hate myself a lot these few days.. :(

26

How long was it till i updated this blog..
Never had a reason to..

Lately i just feel so dead inside..
Sleeping as early as possible..
Trying to avoid the truths of life..

Suddenly broke down again..
Watched the tears drip down my chin onto my shirt..
I dont know what im feeling..
It just sucks..

I need a hug..
I miss getting hugs from friends back in malaysia..
They gave the warmest hugs..
Now all i have is to comfort myself with lies..

Crying to myself again..
I want someone to talk to again..
This just sucks..
alot..

25

I honestly told myself i would be okay..
I would just let you go.. occupy myself..

Then here i am.. alone..
And my heart aches for you..

People says dont think so much..
The second i think about you,
My heart beats a different rhythm..
The heaviness.. is just unbearable..
And i have to urge to tell you i miss you..

Only to throw my phone aside,
and let the tears flow down my cheek.