I'm depressed as fucked and people are just annoying the shit out of me.
Unless i get permission to bitch slap all those annoying shits out there, I'm just gonna hide in my hole and pray i die.

The moment you think you found the perfect guy..
Smart, good looking, caring..
Everything a guy like me could ever ask for..

Then you come down of your fantasy world..
And find the bitter reality waiting to consume you.

"Don't tell me you are going to come to me crying again?"
Exact words my sister told me when I told her about this really awesome guy i've met..

Just this time i guess if i did, i wouldn't cry to her for the reason i did with penguin,
for the sole reason of falling for an impossible..
Wipe back the tears, hug my shark and start wishing i'll be alright again soon..

Going on dates just made me realize how fucked up my life is..
My heart is neither here nor there and a big part of it is still chained to you...

I hate this feeling so much.. =(
After everything i'm still thinking of you..

I'm going out for NSA more.. =(

43

The moment you realize you literally gave up on love..
Been chatting with this guy for some time now.
There is a chemistry.. well at least i feel there is..

But...
Ish.. i feel like i'm wasting my time.
I'm just in for another heart break.

Might as well stop now.

Heart..
Don't do your stupid things again..
Die.

42

"He is a jerk."

And i'm stupid.

41

Yup, its a trend. Each person I talk to goes "hey, i'm busy". or doesn't reply at all.
If you say its just a coincidence, then i should really go buy a lottery ticket.

Even this guy that I invited him out twice also pulled out last min saying "sorry, i'm busy".
Fuck this.

40

He turned his back away from me when he saw me walking by..
A cold chill could be felt when he glared at me before looking away.
I knew at the moment he knows I still liked him.
I gathered all my courage,

"Hey B, its been a while! =D", I put on a smile, not wanting to appear scared. He faced me.

"Hey, sorry, I need to go, bye", i could feel the coldness in his voice, the hatred he felt towards me, a spike through my heart.. He turned around and began walking away.

"B.. please..", i grabbed his arm..

"You are so pathetic!! Fuck off and leave alone!". When i heard it i was reduced to tears, with streams following down the middle of my eyes..

"B!! PLEASE! Don't do this to me..", he shoved my arm away. "Why are you so pathetic Leo??".

"You. You made me this way.. You were the one to lead me believe you were always going be there for me. You lead me believe that you were my prince. You lead me to believe that we had something.. you, you, you, you, You!", i couldn't control my tears, i was breathing heavily..

"You really are pathetic.." He said to me, and walked away..

"Please......"

And i woke up, heart beating fast..
'Its just a dream... thank god..'
I hugged shark... and went back to sleep...