Saturday 8 September 2012

37

Been a while since i needed to post here..

So i added penguin back on facebook.
No point holding grudges over love right?
Been already 7 months since i last talked to him already..

I don't know what i'm feeling..
Previously i was crushing on this guy i met through my blog.. He was really nice, good looking and a malaysian here in melbourne too. Talking to him everyday, i genuinely started to fall for him. Each time i wanted to go meet up with him failed though, he always seemed to be busy. One day talking to him he jokingly said "Fallen for me already ah?". I know its a joke and all but it genuinely made me feel so stupid, like i was some desperate guy. I have no reason to be desperate.. That day i deleted my jack'd and grindr..

After that my relationship with him just plummeted.. I didn't feel the connection i had the day before anymore, everything just disappeared.. For once in a long time i felt free. I didn't have anyone constantly in my mind anymore, i was crush'less and happy.

Few days later i added penguin back and the day after i found myself scribbling and doodling his name on my notes..

Nicole once asked me "If penguin wanted you back, would you say yes?"
That moment i told her a firm "no, never."
but now...

Sign..

Is it stupid to be wanting him back when it would never happen?..
Penguin... I miss you.. :(

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